We Are Not Our Failures
by ColfersCriss
Summary: Sunday morning, Kurt receives a red rose. these roses keep showing up at his door step every Sunday morning and he finds it odd that someone would even have interest in sending him roses. he took them anyway. and on one of the Sundays, Blaine Anderson, decided to deliver one himself, making himself very clear to Kurt. Blaine tells Kurt his story.(Skank!kurt Ghost!Blaine)
1. Chapter 1

We Are Not Our Failures

Kurt Hummel groaned as he stretched out his arms, completely not ready for another boring Sunday. All he wanted to do was lay in bed all day, doing nothing but probably read, or maybe watch a couple of movies. Kurt didn't really have an interest in what the world would give him in the future. He just believed in what he could provide for himself now and didn't really care about anything else. He, of course, cared about his dear dad a lot, and reminded himself every day that he couldn't let him go no matter what. Kurt reminded himself that he shouldn't really let anyone go even if people constantly let go of him. He was thrown around a lot, and he was okay with that. Well he was kind of forced to be okay with that.

Kurt was only eighteen yet still went through what might be the struggles of a man in his forties. He was very mature for his age, yet still seemed to go through too much mistakes he'd make. He'd finished school a year ago and didn't really know what to do with his life, so he figured out it'd just be better to stick around for the meantime, which he did.

Kurt made his way downstairs, made sure his dad was asleep, then began making his breakfast as he did every day. It was a routine that never ended for him. The exact same things to do, the same exact people to see, only a different date. His life was the ideal example of a simple discouraged one. He was pretty okay with that, or so he thought.

Kurt made his dad's favorite, as usual, giving out his usual stolid smile once his dad appeared from the staircase.

"**I made your favorite, and you can't eat anything else so you don't get yourself in the hospital again."**

Kurt mumbled tiredly, placing Burt's place on his usual spot on the table, before taking a seat himself, sipping on his orange juice silently as his dad joined him on the table.

"Remind me again, when you'll be moving out,"

"**I don't really suppose it's soon since I'm not really applying to any jobs, I'm going to be single forever, and all my friends think I'm too bitter. So basically, looks like you're going to be stuck with me for a while, pops." **

Kurt rolled his eyes before standing up, dumping the rest of the juice in the sink.

"Right. Well at least try visiting your brother and Rachel maybe? Only just once in a while? I think they'd be pretty happy to see you."

Burt lied, smiling hopefully as he looked up at Kurt encouragingly. He only wanted the best for his son, and he knew Kurt would love to get to know and socialize with more people once he got the hang of it again, but he didn't even try, and that was what got Burt so upset.

"**I think that they'd be as happy as a lion if it saw someone eat its cubs." **

Kurt grinned sarcastically, before walking toward the door, looking back at his dad one last time,

"**I'm just going to get the mail. Wasn't bothered to get it yesterday so,"**

He shrugged, before walking out to the front porch, quirking an eyebrow once he saw and took in the scent of an obviously freshly picked rose, laid out on his door step. He picked it up slowly, before looking around to find no one at all, only the humid Sunday air.

"**Did you like ask someone for this?"**

Kurt gestured to the rose, glaring at his dad as he held it up for him.

"Not really. Wonder how that got there."

Burt said with a mouthful of food, before standing up, and walking back upstairs, dismissing the conversation as if it didn't matter. Kurt rolled his eyes before looking down at the rose between his fingers that had now left various scratches on his hand and a deep cut across his finger, blood dripping onto the floor.

"**Well shit then." **

Kurt muttered, looking down at the floor with a sigh before getting a washcloth to wash off the blood. He put the rose aside, and tilted his head as he looked at it suspiciously, before smiling lightly, picking it back up despite of its thorns pricking his skin. He climbed up the stairs to his room and placed the rose on his desk, admiring the way it was relentlessly beautiful, yet would still hurt anyone who came near it. He admired the way the rose was the way it was. And it was utterly wonderful.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt wasn't really sure what was going on. It had been a couple of weeks since rose number one had shown up at his door. And this would be Kurt's fifth Sunday receiving roses. Kurt found it awfully odd that someone would even find an interest in sending him especially roses, since he considered himself to be a good for nothing high school dropout. He really didn't care about anyone but his dad and himself. But for some reason this was really getting to him, and he definitely wanted to know who the person was.

And so on the night of sixth Sunday it was, that Kurt decided he would spend the day out on the porch if he had to, to find out who placed a single rose on his doorstep every Sunday. People would find it rather lame or useless to be doing this, but Kurt had a cause. If this person was actually true and loyal, maybe Kurt could give him a chance. Who knows?

Kurt prepared all he needed for that night, and at about 10pm, he was sitting on one of the chairs on their porch in the back, not seen by people passing toward the door. He waited and waited. Minutes and hours passed, yet a person did not show. At around 7am, Kurt began to slowly doze off, and that was before he heard a slight whisper, before spotting the dropping of the rose on his doormat.

He stood up quickly, looking around, trying to find some sort of shadow or person, maybe even a single whisper once again. But he didn't, he didn't find one single thing. The person was gone. The only thing left was the coldness of the breeze, and the early banter of neighbors.

"**Where the hell are you? Come out already! What the fuck are you scared of? You've been driving me insane for weeks. This is all insane. God, I just want to know who you are. It isn't too much to ask honestly. I think it's pretty easy actually. You just show yourself and well yeah. It's very, very fucking simple."**

Kurt muttered, talking to thin air. He rambled on and on, yet no person appeared, no voice was heard, but the coldness grew stronger. Kurt received looks from the gathering awoken people as he grabbed the rose, backing away slowly into his house. He held the rose close to his chest, as if he would sacrifice his life for it, shutting the door after him firmly.

"**You'll show up sometime soon, you better show up. You need to. I'm still hoping you will. You're sweet you know? Not much people really are sweet. They all just want what's good for them and not other people, but I mean you don't seem like you're that kind of person."**

Kurt looked down at the rose, explaining to it as if it was an actual person. He knew he couldn't tell his dad anything more about these roses since he didn't really care, and he was extremely sick. He also didn't really have any friends who understood him or took the time to understand him, or the struggles he faced. Kurt was a lonely person. He had no one but himself, and maybe these beautiful roses.

Kurt climbed up the flight of stairs to his room, placing the rose with the others, sighing as he eyed each one. The first rose he ever got was now completely black and wilted, but its petals hung onto it still. It was still beautiful to Kurt. He believed in inner beauty. He believed that the damned could find hope. He believed the homeless had hospitality. He believed of finding light in the darkness.

Kurt felt a misty sky take over the morning as he took his shirt off, his palms still scratched, cut, and bruised from the thorns' multiple wounds and marks. He sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh, fiddling with his hands tiredly before standing back up and walking to the window. He opened it and set his hands under the drizzle, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. Why was he given this melancholy life? Why did he have to deal with so much all at once, yet feel so stuck and helpless all the time? Why couldn't he know how to deal with all this? Why wouldn't anyone listen to him? Why wouldn't anyone help him? Could anyone see him? Could they hear him? Did they know he actually existed? Did they not?

Kurt didn't believe in happy endings because they weren't all really happy. None of them are happy, none of us are happy. A little sugarcoating isn't really enough of a cover up. There comes a time when you can't really sugarcoat anything anymore, and you just fall apart because everything is just messed up.

"_Hope it's okay if I spoil you a little extra for the day." _

Blaine whispered, making himself visible behind Kurt, then gesturing to a newly added rose on Kurt's table, his breath crispy cold.

"_I don't think I've ever seen anyone more beautiful than you."_


	3. Chapter 3

"**Wha-who-the fuck?"**

Kurt uttered, before quickly turning around to come face with no one other than Blaine of course. He held himself proudly, now in front of Kurt. He stood tall, yet was shorter than Kurt. His damp, wet curls were now dripping onto Kurt's floor as they both stared into each other's eyes wordlessly. It was finally Blaine of course who decided to speak once again, looking down at his well fitted bright sweater that matched his eyes, and his dark, tight pants.

"_Thought you might want to know who's been sending you all those roses… You seemed a little paranoid on finding out. Almost thought you were crazy for a sec."_

Blaine let out with a chuckle, before his face fell once he looked back at Kurt, who was now unfazed by Blaine's explanation.

"_Or not? I-um…I'm sorry…I've just been watching you for a-"_

"**What the hell are you doing in my house? And why would I believe some stalker creep?"**

Kurt asked, now slowly retreating to the bed, quickly pulling his shirt on him, and sitting on his bed. He had to admit, Blaine was absolutely gorgeous. He didn't know his name, he didn't know where the hell he'd come from, he didn't know anything about him. But, he was definitely the most beautiful person Kurt had ever set eyes on.

"_First of all, I'm Blaine. Second of all, I can really explain everything better if you're not staring at me like you're about to knock me out… I swear I'm just here to confess about liking you."_

Blaine said-almost in a whisper-sitting beside Kurt on his bed, still keeping a fair distance between them though. Kurt shuffled awkwardly, his eyes focused on the roses on his desk, before nodding. Blaine then nodded as well, before he began to explain to Kurt silently, in what was probably the softest, calmest voice he had ever heard.

"_I know I'm not really ideal when you picture a boyfriend and all. And I know this must be what seems like the weirdest shit you've ever heard in your life, but I swear to you, everything I'm about to tell you right now is true."_

Kurt didn't nod. Kurt didn't move. In fact, Kurt didn't react. But that was okay, Blaine knew he was doing okay. He knew what Kurt was thinking about this, and he knew Kurt didn't judge before he heard the whole story.

"_So well here goes. I'm Blaine Anderson, and I've been head over heels over you for a while now. Of course, you don't really know anything about me, but I'm pretty sure I know everything about you. It isn't because I'm a stalker freak, no." _

Blaine let out a kind chuckle, rubbing his hands together trying to retrieve the warmness that had left him not too many years, but failed miserably.

"_Kurt, you haunt my thoughts, literally. You're all I think of. I spend hours, sometimes weeks awake trying to only evaluate your opinions and thoughts, and your beautiful, beautiful mind. You're incredible in every single way, and I can't-I don't even know how to properly explain this…Gosh. I'll just get right to it."_

Blaine couldn't take this any longer. He had to tell Kurt the truth, they had to meet; properly meet. He had to finally make him feel special, wanted. That was all Blaine wanted Kurt to feel. He couldn't take the darkness of Kurt's thoughts any longer. He'd just be somewhere nearby all night, all those weeks, listening in on all his thoughts, on how he worked, on how he saw the world. And it turned out that Kurt Hummel had such an alluring mind. And it was quite odd, how different yet how the same they both were.

"_I know how much you enjoy Halloween, since it's the one thing that excites you. Another thing that excites you is oddly these roses, which I find completely tacky." _

He smiled faintly, nodding at the roses on his desk.

"_I know how many times you've hurt yourself intentionally and unintentionally with them. I know how many times you've collapsed internally because-God Kurt- because the world just sucks. I know how much you used to fill up with joy when you were a little kid, and I know how gone that is now. I know Kurt. I know how cruel the world can be, and I've dealt with it all. And I'm sorry that you have so long to go, but it's sad enough to say that I've already gone away. My time's already come, and death has taken my life and banged on it a drum. Not only a drum of sorrow but also of happiness. And to consider that I really couldn't even have the chance to meet you, if I weren't dead, and lifeless. But it's the truth Kurt, I swear. I'm only just an appearance once you want me and need me to be. I'm here to help you, but I'm also here to help myself. We can help each other you know? I don't really plan on knowing everything you think about but well, let's just say ghosts kind of do that? Damn it, had to end that speech with something lame…"_

He mumbled under his breath, rubbing his eyes tiredly then smiling sheepishly up at Kurt, who was only shocked.


	4. Chapter 4

"**I-um… I don't really know what to say. I don't even know you. You said it yourself."**

Kurt was simply just shocked and he couldn't put to words what he was feeling at that moment. Was he flabbergasted? Was he relieved? Or was he simply confused? He looked up into the bright hazel eyes that shone like a million galaxies that were surprisingly staring back at Kurt.

"_Hey, you don't really have to know me. That's the point of getting to know each other. I really doubt you'd even consider me after what I just told you about me being. It's fine though, I get it a lot. From people dead…or alive. So, yeah it's okay." _

Blaine shrugged his shoulders before averting Kurt's eyes, standing up once again and staring out the window.

"**Don't be an idiot. Didn't really think they'd have those in Town Of The Dead too."**

Kurt muttered, shooting a snarky answer directly at Blaine. He really didn't care what kind of ghost or creature Blaine was, he was just caught in the moment. Not that he didn't believe in ghosts and mythical creatures, because he definitely did. And Blaine simply rolled his eyes before walking back to Kurt, standing in front of him, crossing his arms.

"_You going to stick to that sarcasm forever then?"_

Blaine breathed out, his breath cold against Kurt's skin.

"**Just because you're dead and passed doesn't mean I don't get to know you. You seem weird, ominous. I like that about you." **

Kurt said, now admiring the random way Blaine had just shown up and introduced himself. It was pretty interesting considering Blaine was a ghost and Kurt completely believed him. Seemingly, Blaine was already beginning to impress Kurt. Kurt wasn't completely into the fact that Blaine had waited all those weeks to expose himself. It annoyed him.

"_What can I say? I'm pretty likeable."_ Blaine grinned before taking a seat next to Kurt, explaining more about himself. Kurt listened attentively to Blaine and he enjoyed their time together. They stayed up together for hours, and hours. Kurt told Blaine about how annoying he thought everyone was. He told him about how different he thought he was. He told him about how he thought they were kind of the same.

Blaine definitely agreed with Kurt and they both ended up laying themselves on Kurt's bed, looking up at the ceiling, clueless of how much time had passed. And they'd only spent that whole time talking. It was absolutely incredible.

"**You know something that's like really weird?"**

"_Hmm? You still confused about me being able to fly?" _Blaine hummed with a chuckle before turning to look at Kurt with a bright smile.

"**I know it's basically been only a few hours, but I can honestly say that you're probably the only person who understands what I'm talking about when I'm talking about…anything!" **Kurt let out the small giggle he was holding in.

"_I guess I didn't show earlier because I was a bit scared of rejection. I mean I know you're all for mysterious shit and all but I'm different. I'm-well-I'm really not worth your time. And I completely get it if you like… if you don't want to hang out with me or whatever."_

"**Blaine, no not at all. Like I said, I really really like your personality. I can relate to you on so many levels, and frankly, you understand."** Kurt nodded reassuringly, **"don't worry. You and I both know that if I didn't like you I'd just tell you to leave."** Kurt said with a chuckle, before leaning into Blaine slowly, pecking his cheek.

Blaine blushed a bright pinkish color before sitting up, pulling his shoes on slowly.

"_Thank you for this. Really. Do you mind if I come over tomorrow, Kurt?"_

"**Not at all."**

Kurt said simply, a warm smile remained as Blaine left.

A/N: IM SO SOSOSOSO SORRY THIS UPDATE TOOK SO SO LONG! I PROMISE ILL GET OUT ANOTHER UPDATE ASAP (: SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER THIS TIME )::::: HOPE YA LIKE IT THOUGH. ANYONE WANT KURT TO GET HIS FIRST KISS NEXT TIME? (; OVER-USE OF EMOTICONS OKAYAYAY BYE


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt woke up the next morning, surprisingly feeling happy. Kurt wasn't usually a morning person. It was unusual and odd for him to feel at ease, to feel excited about something. He hadn't really felt completely at ease ever since his mom died. Everyone had noticed it. His father, Finn, Rachel, Carole, and himself.

Kurt just changed. One day, everything went wrong.

_An eight year old Kurt slowly awoke from his sleep, looking around the vacant, dark bedroom he slept in, frowning slightly once he felt his mother's absence in the room. He held his blanket close to his chest as he stood up, wrapping it around himself. _

**"Mommy?"** _Kurt almost whispered, pushing his hair back as it slid into his eyes, and headed quietly to his bedroom door, cracking it open only a bit, to hear his two parent's quarrel. _

_****_**"Daddy? Why are you and Mommy fighting?"**_Kurt uttered, stepping out of his room, and made his way to his parents' room, standing by the doorway._

_"Kurt, honey, you should be asleep. Isn't that right?" Kurt's mom asked as she stood up from the bed she'd previously been sitting on, holding Kurt up in her arms. "Did you have a bad dream, sweetie?" She asked, as calm as ever, her hand gently stroking the boy's hair. _

_**"He should probably head back to sleep. It's pretty late, kiddo." **__**  
**__Burt quickly responded, leaning back on the wall where he was standing_

__**"No, daddy. You and Mommy were fighting. Why were you fighting?"** _Kurt asked, nuzzling into his mother's embrace as he spoke, hugging her tightly. _

_"How about you and me get up for a snack?" Kurt's mom asked once Burt had no reply. She looked down at Kurt sweetly, wrapping him up in the blanket. "I'll let you have that chocolate you couldn't have earlier." _

_She chuckled as she glanced at her young boy's face as his smile brightened the dull room. _

**"Really? You would really let me?" **

_Kurt grinned brightly as he quickly shuffled out of his blankets and his mother's embrace, and made a run for the stairs, which was quickly followed by his mother calling after him, _

_"Watch out, it's dark!" _

_She chuckled, before following after him and checking on him_

_Only a few months later, it happened. Kurt shed his tears as he watched his mother being lowered into the ground. He knew no one could bring her back. He knew that nothing would bring her back. What he had to understand was why she would be taken away. Why was it his mother who had to be taken away?_

_That afternoon, Kurt's father, Burt didn't really have time to consult Kurt. It wasn't really because of his carelessness, because Burt Hummel was known to be very good to Kurt, and he was. But Burt had to still get the thing through his mind himself, and he had to talk to lots and lots of people at the funeral. Kurt understood that. _

_Burt knew Kurt did. Burt knew that if anyone were to be called understanding it would be his son, Kurt. He knew how much he thought about various things, before and after his mother's death. Kurt was special._

_Kurt hadn't really made any friends at school. Everyone at school was mean to him. They all teased him, and made fun about how he used to act. Kurt's mother was his friend. He loved his mother. _

_Once his dad had set off to talk to some people around the area of the funeral, he told Kurt to remain where he was and that he'd return. Kurt, on the other hand, didn't really want to act obedient at that point; the point where everything just felt broken. Nothing felt right. He stood up from where he was, his eyes tear-stained as he held his small journal close to his chest. He'd always loved taking that journal everywhere. And he would take it to his mother's funeral too. _

_Kurt searched for the perfect place to sit, before deciding to take a seat under a tree, not really minding his clothes, even though in other circumstances he would definitely hate his clothes getting ruined, even if only slightly dirty. _

_Kurt pulled a small pen to match the journal out his pocket, and sniffled as he opened it to an empty page. He breathed out softly before writing down, practically filling up the page._

_I don't really know what to write here. _

_I am probably going to save this _

_for when I am older so this is kind_

_of a message for myself in the future._

_Mom didn't leave. She didn't. _

_It wasn't her fault. She didn't want_

_to go. She had to go_

_She was really sick._

_I miss her so much. _

_Dad's busy. I think he's_

_going to be busy a lot _

_lately. Usually when he_

_was busy, I'd sit with mom._

_My mom isn't here anymore. _

_My dad won't be able to be_

_here anymore. I feel alone. _

_I feel so alone. _

_**-Kurt.**_

(A/N_) I HAVENT REALLY GOTTEN INTO WHEN BLAINE COMES OVER BUT I DECIDED TO GO A LITTLE FURTHER INTO KURT'S PAST AND WHAT GOT HIM TO BE THE WAY HE IS TODAY. HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER! I LOVE IT TBH.. _


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